No, it isn't just the Goodbye-to-college-drama and Phone-number jotting to blame. It also has alot to do with sleeping 24/7, retrieving old phone numbers from scraps of paper, calling people I've ignored long enough, trying to fix things on the job front, being awfully jet-lagged, and getting used to travelling half-way across city to shop.
Tuesday, 9 September 2008
Also, I've been drawing lots all morning to help me decide. Not that it is (in the least way) helpful, but heck, at least its something. I've never been this uncertain about my life. Earlier, I actually liked this whole uncertainty thing. It made things seem more exciting. Now I'm starting to wish I was one of those people who applied to Oxford three years ahead - Just in case.
Appa tells me that everyone feels confused at twenty two. He doesn't even believe me that there are some people I know who knew what they wanted to do from the time they were, say 0 years old. For eg. The Scientist knew what he wanted to be from age 3. His parents and him had it all figured out by the time he was 5. Then there's NK, who decided early on that his talent for arguing with me would pay off in Law school. When I tell Appa this, he yells and says if I'm going to compare myself to people I'm never going to get anywhere, later adding that if I so badly wanted to become a writer, to take a pen and start writing now.
Now, I've been thinking about my downhill-spiralling life all morning with a pen in my hand: Twenty two. No big fat paycheck. Not even small measly one for that matter. Clueless. Two degrees.
The only thing I feel like writing now is my obituary.