Tuesday, 9 September 2008

22/ Quarter-life crisis.

No, it isn't just the Goodbye-to-college-drama and Phone-number jotting to blame. It also has alot to do with sleeping 24/7, retrieving old phone numbers from scraps of paper, calling people I've ignored long enough, trying to fix things on the job front, being awfully jet-lagged, and getting used to travelling half-way across city to shop.

Also, I've been drawing lots all morning to help me decide. Not that it is (in the least way) helpful, but heck, at least its something. I've never been this uncertain about my life. Earlier, I actually liked this whole uncertainty thing. It made things seem more exciting. Now I'm starting to wish I was one of those people who applied to Oxford three years ahead - Just in case.

Appa tells me that everyone feels confused at twenty two. He doesn't even believe me that there are some people I know who knew what they wanted to do from the time they were, say 0 years old. For eg. The Scientist knew what he wanted to be from age 3. His parents and him had it all figured out by the time he was 5. Then there's NK, who decided early on that his talent for arguing with me would pay off in Law school. When I tell Appa this, he yells and says if I'm going to compare myself to people I'm never going to get anywhere, later adding that if I so badly wanted to become a writer, to take a pen and start writing now.

Now, I've been thinking about my downhill-spiralling life all morning with a pen in my hand: Twenty two. No big fat paycheck. Not even small measly one for that matter. Clueless. Two degrees. 

The only thing I feel like writing now is my obituary.

9 voices:

Tie your own shoes !!! said...

Awww..babe..dont worry .. good to hear ur back home :)
why dont ya kick start wid some online freelancing ..technical writing sorta stuff ..

Meera Vijayann said...

Ohh,,, I'm not that sad right now.. its just that I love complaining..hehehe.. back to the first point of your blog.:P

Ecoute Moi said...

Stop it will you !!
idiot..house is all soooo tense anyways...oh to add to it, guess who is coming tonite...The Scientist !! what fun i tell u... ;)

Anonymous said...

Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives.

Seen this?


nishath said...

For those who ponder and wonder and wrestle with the idea of what it is they really want, I have an answer that each would wholeheartedly agree with: "HAPPINESS."

And for those who ponder and wonder and wrestle with exactly what will bring them true happiness, I have an answer that each would wholeheartedly disagree with: "Just do something, do anything, as soon as possible, and do it with care."

Pranay said...

Wow well written...You know wat....you took d words out of my mouth! I feel exactly d same! and I m 23 too.. and so damn confused bout everything. Also I too love complaining...a big portion of my posts on my blog are complaints..:P.

Sorry for not replyin on that 'Doc blog of mine..I stopped writing in it...and so never checked it recently.

adithya said...

my comment never showed up!!! :(

Meera Vijayann said...

@gradwolf : Aiyo..which comment??!

@Pranay :Why did you stop writing that awesome blog?!start right now.NOW.

@Nishath:I agree.:)

. said...

We are all going to die.
A comforting thought.
Your friend,