Tuesday, 16 September 2008

Why won't I listen?

Because it is plain depressing.

Here's a quick recap of today:
The financial markets are down. Lehman brothers- Merrill Lynch double whammy. Serial blasts. The Congress is in dilemma. Eighty five billion to save AIG. Woman sets maid on fire. Teen stabbed 666 times in satanic rite. Quake hits western Maharashtra. Another Indian girl found dead in the US. Dengue fever spreads. Acute milk shortage in Patna.

Really. I couldn't care less. After throwing all the newspapers in my house into the bin, I watched Cartoon Network with my baby sister.


Ignorance is bliss at times. 

Monday, 15 September 2008

A birthday toast

To idiocy,
      without which no-one could
ever be

To arguments,
      without which no-one could
ever share
      their differences.

To love,
     without which no-could
ever find
      the depth of existence.

Happy Birthday pretty boy,
 Have a lovely 23rd.

Sunday, 14 September 2008

A series of fortunate events.

For once, my life is taking control of me. My ongoing personal crisis with jobs and relentless complaining about how the world could possibly be such a cruel, unfair, greedy place seems to have sent a telepathic signal to Zeus. Or lesser, not-so-popular-yet-super-kind-God, like say, Arabinose. At least it meant someone was listening.

Fortunate event #1

American company calls for an interview in desperation. I knew it was in desperation because the mail had a smiley in it. A SMILEY. Potential employers using smilies in emails always answers a two way question. Firstly, you know that they will take you even if you don't seem like you could contribute in the least way to the company. Secondly, you could also play your cards and make them wait. No, I'm not in the least surprised and I must say I've been playing aces - now they are willing to pay me how much ever I want just to keep me. And no, I won't apologize for being a brutally honest and sly money-minded minx. I need to be able to afford that trip to Central America.

Fortunate event #2

Remember how I felt that I'd never be able to churn out that book? turns out that there might be a publishing house that is interested in reading unsolicited manuscripts. The woman who spoke to me was also an uncompromising feminist. I knew it because she had just published a whole load of women writing which made no sense to me. All the same, both feminist nature and enthusiasm to read manuscripts appealed to me. Maybe, like maybe, there might be a teeny weeny chance she might like what I've written - especially since it involves a lot of heterosexual relationship bashing.

Fortunate event #3

After an entire month of bitching with girlfriends about the asperities of sharing the planet with the male species, NK has made me change my mind. Of all people- NK. But then I got thinking, maybe they aren't all that bad. He has actually returned all calls and messages over the past week playing professional lawyer, best friend and outright ass at the same time. I guess it also has to do with the 'famous-NK-birthday' coming up which involves alot of women, alcohol, binge drinking and a warped body clock. But anyway our lack-lustre conversations have actually started to sound like normal conversations now. Part way I think there are calm seas and sunshine ahead; the distance doesn't seem too bad now.

Also to add to it, I just found out that mum had left an insane amount of Gulab jamuns, Besan laddoos and Khoa in the fridge. Ah, life can be so awfully sweet at times. I feel so much better when it takes care of me rather than the other way around.

(This is for the three people who have made me listen to the Sunscreen Song over the past years- Uthree, NK and Gradwolf)

Tuesday, 9 September 2008

22/ Quarter-life crisis.

No, it isn't just the Goodbye-to-college-drama and Phone-number jotting to blame. It also has alot to do with sleeping 24/7, retrieving old phone numbers from scraps of paper, calling people I've ignored long enough, trying to fix things on the job front, being awfully jet-lagged, and getting used to travelling half-way across city to shop.

Also, I've been drawing lots all morning to help me decide. Not that it is (in the least way) helpful, but heck, at least its something. I've never been this uncertain about my life. Earlier, I actually liked this whole uncertainty thing. It made things seem more exciting. Now I'm starting to wish I was one of those people who applied to Oxford three years ahead - Just in case.

Appa tells me that everyone feels confused at twenty two. He doesn't even believe me that there are some people I know who knew what they wanted to do from the time they were, say 0 years old. For eg. The Scientist knew what he wanted to be from age 3. His parents and him had it all figured out by the time he was 5. Then there's NK, who decided early on that his talent for arguing with me would pay off in Law school. When I tell Appa this, he yells and says if I'm going to compare myself to people I'm never going to get anywhere, later adding that if I so badly wanted to become a writer, to take a pen and start writing now.

Now, I've been thinking about my downhill-spiralling life all morning with a pen in my hand: Twenty two. No big fat paycheck. Not even small measly one for that matter. Clueless. Two degrees. 

The only thing I feel like writing now is my obituary.